


And count to Twenty

by vosien



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, Tumblr request, attempted humour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-10 03:14:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12902736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vosien/pseuds/vosien
Summary: “What?” Clyde rebuffed. "I'm curious, our man Tweek could have a secret lover and we have no idea!"





	1. Clyde Plays Inquisitor

Summer camp.

Ugh.

Who in the right mind thought this was a good idea again? Tweek grumbled under his breath, when tired finger tips laced around the stainless thermos and brought it to chapped lips. The bitter, but nevertheless the familiar warmth of caffeine spread throughout his body in a matter of seconds. His shoulders eventually lax, and exhaled a sigh of relief.

It’s a good place to make new friends, his mother would say to her only child upon entering the campsite, no more than an hour ago. However upon scanning the area itself in what seemed to be the millionth time, it looks like no one was in desperate need of seeking new acquaintances, let alone befriend a freak like himself.

He rather be at home right now, or lounge about in Token’s basement. Where Super Smash Bros could be heard in the background, before turning his attention else where and proceed to make idle chatter with Jimmy. Or at the very least get dragged along with the boys to who knows what bizarre adventure they have in store during the summer.

However as of right now, Tweek is in the middle of nowhere.

With fuck all signal.

And fuck all coffee.

Someone, please end his life.

“Tweeeeek!” Tweek glares up from his thermos, and spotted a certain brunet. One, whose blithe smile can be spotted from miles away, easing the anxious adolescent from his rear view coming towards him. When they were within speaking distances, the two greeted one another.. “Hey! I didn’t know you were going to summer camp you should have called us, we could’ve picked you up!”

“Me neither Clyde, it’s -  _ngh_ \- more of a last minute thing, and _myparent’swouldn’ttake_ no as an answer..” The blond haired replied back almost hastily before adding, “Did you come with - _ngh_ \- _anyoneelse_?”

“Well you’re here now!” Clyde declared with open arms, both arms spread open as if to uplift the environment around them. “Token is also here, well usually Craig and Jimmy would tag along too but neither could come this year. Craig his folks are going to Minnesota to visit relatives or something, whereas Jimmy is doing some kind of ‘soul searching’ in Thailand- don’t ask why.”

Clyde made quotation marks upon stating the handicap’s motive, whereas Tweek’s ear perked up, upon hearing the noirette’s name, but simply nod it off.

“I - I didn’t know you _fourgoto_ summer camp.”

“Oh nah, Token’s parents are making him go, same with Craig.” The other male shrugged, “And since I have nothing else to do in the summer, me and sometimes Jimmy tags along.”

“I see.”

“The good news is, now that you’re here, Craig is going to be jealous that he’s in another state, and not attending summer camp.” Clyde gleefully added, an arm wraps around his friend's shoulder. Tweek was about to ask why, but the talkative brunet continue his chatter. “Token will also be pleased to see you here, especially a familiar face like yours!”

With that being said, he began to drag the twitchy adolescent across the field and towards the cabins.

“Do you think - _ngh_ \- Token _broughtacoffeemachine_ to camp?!” Tweek almost panicked for asking a peculiar question, however Clyde simply laughed it off, well accustomed to Tweek’s outburst.

“Come on Tweek, it’s summer camp. It’s all about the babes, roasting marshmallows near the fire, scary stories, and enjoying ourselves. I doubt anyone - _including_ Token - would bring a coffee machine.”

 

* * *

 

“And I stand corrected, Token brought a fucken coffee machine…”

Both Tweek but more so Clyde, were mildly dumbfounded upon entering Token’s shared bedroom, only to discover their dark skinned friend setting up a coffee machine nearby. Upon closer inspection the barista has also notice it wasn’t just any kind of coffee machine, but an - “Alex Leva Machine?” The blond exclaimed, sharp blue eyes rose in panic.

“I don’t trust the coffee over here.” Was Token’s excuse. Somewhat embarrassed, but brushed it off as normal, as he greeted the shorter male with ease. 

The burnet simply rose an eyebrow, and crossed his arms on his chest. “Three words Token.” Clyde began as three fingers popped up. “Bull. Fucken. Shit.”

Token sighed, quickly admitting defeat. “This is going to sound stupid.”

“We’re from South Park. Pretty sure stupidity is the norm regardless of where we are.” Clyde casually added, while Tweek continued to inspect the machine with eager fingers.

“Well you see, we have four coffee machines back at home, and my father wanted me to get rid of one, so he can buy a new model that my father has been raving on about.”

“But why bring it to camp?”

“So… uh, I can destroy it.”

For a moment Clyde appear to grow a second head, whereas Tweek yelp out in disbelief. “ _Ahhh_! Y-you - _gah_! You can’t _destroythecoffeemachine_ Token! _GAH_! That machine cost like five thousand dollars! _Ah_!”

“What he said.” Clyde agreed, the subject of wealth among Token has long numbed him. Along with those who subject oneself to hang around one of the richest man in South Park. “Why couldn't you just throw it out instead? Or give it someone else?”

“A lot of families don’t need a coffee machine, especially a second hand one. And mother doesn’t want to throw away a perfectly working one either, just to buy another model.” Token groaned, and placed the machine aside. “The good news here, now that Tweek is here, we can enjoy barista made coffee without fail, at least until camp ends.”

“And then what?” Tweek mumbled under his breath, but Token caught on.

“Let just hope that someone wants a coffee machine."

 

* * *

 

“It is that time of year again! For twenty mother fucken questions! Do I hear an aw yeah!?” Clyde announced, sending a fist up to the air. 

By the time the trio has settled, the sun has long disappeared and has been replaced by the evening skies. After dinner Token suggested to try out the coffee machine in wich the other two agree, and Tweek, the king of brewing coffee, resumed his barista role. With magic, he ended up making black coffee for himself, and two hot chocolates for the other two.

“Do we have - _ngh_ \- have too?” Tweek shifted uncomfortable on his chair. The three, along their beverages made their way to the campfire, where the sound of flicking flames, acoustic guitar notes, and idle chatter could be heard from a distances.

“He does this every year. Claims it's a way to get to know us better.” Token informed the other male, as he took a slip of his hot chocolate - it tasted alright - and the brunet eagerly nodded.

“And since Tweek is with us for the first time during the summer, we’ll start with you!”

Tweek nearly spilled his drink upon hearing his name, whereas Token gave his friend a look. “Ah! Me! That’s too much pressure dude!”

“Don’t worry, it’s not an exam, it’s just 20 questions, and plus if you don’t want to answer a certain question just tell us. I may be an asshole, but I'm not a dick.” Clyde assured the younger male with a smile before adding, “Compare to Craig that is.”

The twitchy male wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t like Clyde is a terrible person for their inquisitive nature.

Shallowing the last of his coffee, his trembling from the last statement came a nil. Tweek placed the cup down, and nodded. “O - Okay, why not.”

Clyde’s smile widen even further, and pumped his fist towards the evening sky. “That’s the spirit Tweek!”

Token emit a sigh, but curled the tip of his lips in a small smile nevertheless, while the questioner pounded his first inquiry for a moment. When ready, Tweek felt the urge to twitch again.

“Okay Tweek, question one - are you seeing anyone?”

As this, the dark skinned male placid’s expression morphed into sheer disturbances, followed by a series of coughs. Whereas Tweek’s mind went into overdrive and fell off his seat.

“Really Clyde!?” Token almost gagged.

“What?” Clyde rebuffed. "I'm curious, our man Tweek could have a secret lover and we have no idea!" 

Seriously, out of all the question!?.” Token muttered under his breath before turning his attention to the startled blond haired, “Tweek you don’t have to answer if you don’t want too.”

Tweek on the other hand, was twitching all over the place, even when returning back to his seat. His signature ‘ _nghs_ ’ and ‘ _gahs_ ’ tumbled out his lips in a repetitive manner, as he apprehensively eyed the two other males.

“No! It’s okay. It _justcameout_ of no where - _ngh_.” Tweek finally spoke, once his mind began to settle. 

“But like Token said, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want too.” Clyde injected, however reminds unapologetic about his question.

Tweek glance fell onto Token first, then to Clyde.

This was a simple yes and no question, and obviously, Tweek mother fucken Tweak wasn’t seeing anyone. Hell, who would want to date him? As Tweek bite his bottom lips, his right leg began to shake to calm the ever growing nerves.

All he has to do is say ‘no’ so Clyde would move on, and the night will be over before they know it.

Except, the moment his thin lips parted ways, his shoulders tensed once more as a vision of a certain adolescence around the same age as him appeared before him. His black locks and golden hazel eyes alone was enough to make Tweek render his cheeks red.

They were close, yes, but the weren't dating… no?

His hand gripped onto the handle of his cup until knuckles has turned white as the shorter male answered the question under a covet trances.

“Yes.”

Chaos ensured. 

 


	2. Token Attempts Murder

Congratulation!

This is your first night with Clyde and Token in summer camp, and not only has he managed to lie about his relationship status, but have also completely screwed his chances of gaining their complete trust. 

Token was the first to react, whom’s facial expression morphed from a stolid stance to upright dubiety. Dark orbs grew in size before rising an eyebrow by the newfound information. Clyde on the other hand, took the commemorate approach; as a shit eating grin spread across his face. Before he proudly took a stand and scream sweet, sweet hallelujah on the top of his lungs.

A handful amount of strangers turn heads to the singing brunet, and Tweek - downright modified - not only by Clyde's terrible singing, but his answer. Digging further down his chair, to hide oneself from shame.

It was a simple yes and no question, and the one's hyperactive mind took the latter approach.

He need to make things right, re-answer the question and flip a false statement towards the truth.

However, Clyde was more than willing to move onto the next question, once the song came to an end and wiggled back to his seat, as gleeful as ever. Token on the other hand, not one to step into another's privacy, wouldn't denied, that he - himself - was now interested in the next series of questions.

Instead of correcting oneself, Tweek was thrown into a pile of several other queries in regards of the so call special lover. Clyde asked about their appearances, but quickly flip the question over and asked about their gender first. Then resumed back to appearances, followed by a dash of their personality. Likes, dislikes, and so forth. Much to Tweek's relief, Clyde never brought up his name, let along his age or if the suppose lover goes to the same school.

Nevertheless, his anxiety got the better of him, and for a moment Tweek couldn’t help but answer as wishfully as possible.

At this point, he has given up and allowed oneself to humor the duo.

The questions was meant with swift like answers. For Tweek's lover is male. Has light tan skin, golden hazel but hawk like eyes, and black hair. An asshole to many, but not one to cause trouble among others. A lover for very few things. Yet disliked a lot of things, almost too many to list. 

The more he thought about Craig, the more he felt his body began to warm up. Each question slowly, but surely meant with ease, and halfway through the interrogation, Tweek found himself almost smiling whiles answering them. Eventually the twitches, the gasping tics, and the white noise in his mind came to a grinding halt and the first time today - Tweek was oddly at peace. As if the noirette was by his side, comforting him, a hand on his shoulder followed by a smile.

While Clyde seem excited by the answers, Token’s emotions were guarded as in deep in thought. His lips drawn in a straight line, both eyes narrowed, and legs crossed as his dark orbs continued to study his blond friend.

Upon the 20th question, and much to younger male's relief, the end of the deride interrogation.

“Okay Tweek, last question-”

“Can I ask the last question Clyde.” Token thoroughly mute throughout the game, decides to slides in. A bit too smoothly for Tweek’s taste, as if he was waiting for the right moment to pounce. 

Clyde on the other hand, seem more than willing to hand over the microphone to his friend. “All yours ~”

“Tweek.” His voice laced with concern, and Tweek could feel his mind go in overdrive once again. Has Token figured it out? “This boyfriend of yours… is he a very close friend to both Clyde and myself?”

Clyde rose an eyebrow, and Tweek couldn't breath, eyes flat down on the earthly dirt, his cheeks once again flusted.

Of course Token will figure it out, Tweek thought, because he’s Token Black. One of the most popular students in school, a straight A student, and can knock Cartman out with three punches. Can play any instrument with ease, pass all his exam with little struggles, everyone wants him in their sport team, is currently dating one of the most beautiful girls in school, and to top it off is a can read anyone's body language like a mother fucken boss.

A minute passed and the blond haired has yet to answer the final question. The dark skinned male on the other hand had neither pushed, yet repeated the phase, but rather nursed his beverage.

"So uh, Tweek, do we know the person?" Of course, many like Token, would leave it to Clyde to lock in an answer. While Tweek would proceed to cringe at oneself, well aware he's leaving everyone - including himself -hanging.

“Pass.” Tweek finally answered, his tone soft.

“I see.” Token acknowledged and stood up. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think everyone is heading to bed.”

“W-wait!” Clyde protested, his shadowed features rears in distress by the revelation. Not only is Tweek; a pure flower child, is dating someone, but not just anyone as the following words slurred out - “Come on Tweek, you've answered the other nineteen question, don't leave us hanging!”

Token sighed and began to drag his talkative friend back to the cabins.

The blond haired could see Token’s mouth moving long into the shadows, however under the lingering whispers, Tweek couldn’t capture the following words.

More people began to make their way back to their cabin until Tweek was the last person left, the fire now nothing more than a spark and the mug numbs his pale fingertips, however he couldn't move. An air of the profound unknown took wind, and all at once, it hits Tweek like a fallen brick. 

Tweek Tweak has a crush Craig Tucker.

And this newfound information scares him.

 

* * *

 

The following week was just as uneventful as the others.

Clyde has managed to locate weak, but nevertheless phone signal upon their third day. It gave Token a reason to contact his girlfriend, Clyde to send random text messages to both Craig and Jimmy, and Tweek to scroll on Twitter whenever he has the chance. Other than that, summer camp was filled with activities, local performances, unwanted bonding time, hiking and whatever else was thrown in their face, because America.

Tweek remain by Clyde and Token's side, despite their so called bonding session from the first evening from hell. If fact, the following day neither of the duo brought up Tweek’s mystery boyfriend. If anything, the trio found themselves talking about home instead. These topics range from their final year of high school, classes, their families and other general matters, much to Tweek's relief.

The twitchy adolescent discovered a lot of things about the pair during camp. How Clyde sleep walks every now and then, has an obsession to put down every toilet seat down since the death of his mother, and has a little sister but neither get along with one another. Token on the other hand, has considered joining the debating team, his girlfriend is obsess with nicknames, and at one point his parents wanted their son to go to a boarding school in England. However Token managed to convince his parents otherwise.

“But South Park is a shithole? _Whydidn’tyou_ \- _ngh_ \- leave?” Tweek asked, somewhat dumbfounded that Token rejected the offer.

At this, Token chuckled. “South Park is shit, but what’s the point of moving when I have everything here?” He gave his twitchy friend a small smile, before continuing, “I have Nichole, Craig, Clyde, Jimmy and now you. I desire no more than what I have in front of me.”

Tweek sighed, but deep within his body felt flustered. He forgot how humble his dark skinned friend was, despite the amount of wealth. 

Maybe all you need in life is a roof over your head, a good laptop, and a few close friends.

And when Tweek though about it, his smile mirrored Token's. 

"You're right." 

 

* * *

 

“So… guys, it's the last night and all.” Clyde spoke first, both hands in pocket, and he eyed his friends with trepidation. “What do we do about the coffee machine?”

Token knew the day would come where he would have to dispose the coffee maker, the novel he was reading a moment ago now shut, in repose to his friend question. “I think we have no choice, but to descend a full assault on the machine.”

Tweek, whom was listening to the conversation almost yelp by Token's answer, as blunt finger tips made their way to his scalp and his back pressed against the wall. "That's too much PRESSURE! _GAH_!" Tweek yelled, wary eyes watched the other males took out their weapon of choice; for Token it’s a metal baseball bat, whereas Clyde held up a hockey stick.

“You heard what the boss said.” Clyde states, and Token rolled his eyes but nevertheless he too raised baseball bat for good measure.

"I don't want to do this either." A whisper could be heard from Token, but made no attempt to withdraw his weapon.

Tweek couldn't watch as he closed eyes, and further shielded them with the palm of his hands. His breathing picked up, and a dread of panic hang on the tip of his tongue.

Neither Clyde or Token has dared to move, and Clyde draw his brows and turned his head to his fellow partner in crime, "On your signal Token."

"O-Oh, of course." The other male said, a single drop of sweat could be seen rolling down his forehead. "On the count to three."

"One."

Tweek let out a sullied whine, as his shoulders trembled.

"Two."

Token felt his heart beat.

"Thr-"

"I can't do it!"

"What!?"

"I can't do it man, like Tweek said it's too much pressure!" Clyde protested, and cast his glassy sights to his friend, before tossing the hockey stick aside.

"Are you serious!?" Token exclaimed, when he saw tears. "It's just a coffee machine!"

"Sally made good hot chocolate!" The brunet cried out, using his sleeves to wipe away the tears.

"Who's Sally?"

"The coffee machine."

"You named the coffee machine Sally?!"

"Hey! Hey! At least I don't give my girlfriend weird nicknames, who name their girlfriend 'sweatpea!?'"

"Okay first of all, rude! Second of all, you don't have a girlfriend so you can't judge, and third of all, nicknames are very important between Nichole and I."

"Whoa, whoa, in case you've forgotten I'm going out with Annie! Remember her!?"

"Bullshit, everyone knows that Annie is dating Red!"

"What no way! Craig would've told us first!?"

"Everyone knows that the Tuckers ar-"

"Oh for fuck sakes!" Tweek yelled across the room, a fleeting moment of agitation took over as he yanked the baseball bat from Token, and march his way towards the machine. "I'll finish the fucken job, if neither of you are going to do it! _GAH_!"

The following action halted the argument, as the duo heed their attention towards the irritated blond haired.

"Wait Tweek-"

"Don't do it-"

Before either could stop their twitchy friend going on a sudden rampage, the door was forced open as a female figured entered the room, a look of annoyances paints her face as she gave a hostel glare to all three men in the room. "Alright what the fuck is going on! I swear it's the middle of the fucken night, and you guys are acting like a bitch in heat!"

Tweek immediately dropped his weapon, as panic gazes clash against one's deathly orbs. For a moment Tweek could have swore he recognise that voice as; "Bebe?" 

The mood in the room suddenly shifted, and the guarded expression dropped and promptly replaced with sheer bewildment.

“Tweek... is that you?” 

Tweek gave a nod, a tentative one, but it was enough to make light up fireworks as Bebe squealed and made her way inside the room. “Oh my gosh! Tweek it is you!” She gasped, as slender arms wrapped around one's lanky figure, “I saw your name on the list that you were at camp, but I didn’t think you were actually here!”

“I like to keep myself - _nigh_ \- on a down low.” Tweek almost choked out, noting her strong grip. 

"Hey! What about us Bebe!" Clyde whined. "We haven't seen you for two years, and the first thing you do is hug Tweek?" 

Bebe and her family moved to Texas during the summer two years ago. The move was abrupt, and without much notice. It left the year group mildly shock upon hearing the news. Tweek, along with many of her classmates continued to contact her through social media. Overtime Bebe and Tweel bonded, when they began to open up about their concerns  one's well being and mental health came forth. While Tweek's was well known among his peers, Bebe hit it among her peers. However her anxiety peaked to new heights while in Taxes, especially being away from home. While Wendy was willing to help, it was Tweek who proved himself helpful from time to time, as one of the few people in her social group who truly understood her problems. In exchange, Bebe is one of the few people Tweek actually enjoyed spending time with. Whom is both highly encouraging and more than willing to help Tweek in times of need, despite living in different states.

"Trust me, I didn't expect to bump into other people from South Park in summer camp." Bebe smiled, as she released the fellow blond. 

“So how have you been Bebe?” Token asked, as he took the baseball bat from the ground and toss it onto the bed on his left. 

“Better than ever! Now that I'm seeing familiar faces." She beams, as immaculate finger nails began to comb Tweek's matted hair. "How about you guys, two years is a long time huh?"

The group eventually moved to Token's double bed, their conversation lead to each member recapping certain bits of the past, memorable moments, past gossip, future plans and so forth. "Well… um, how should I put this, the girls already know about this, but I’m coming back to South Park!” Bebe revealed, jazz hands on the side, and both Tweek and Clyde were stunned.

“What!? _Gah_! Really?” Tweek is never one to cheer, let alone express an excessive amount of excitement.

“Yes!” 

"Aye!" Clyde perked up, as he gave Tweek a smug smile before turning back his attention to the other blonde. "Now that you're coming back to South Park, you should know that our boy Tweek, has a  _boyfriend_ ~" 

Tweek froze. “C-Clyde!?”

“WHAT! NO WAY!?” Bebe gasped, a hand cupped her mouth. "Tweek, sugar?! Why didn't you tell me this?!" 

Tweek simply sank deeper into the mattress, and Token chuckled. 

"I think our buddy Tweek wants to keep his relationship on a down low." Token assumed, and gave the younger male a sympathetic smile.

“I-” Tweek began, but couldn't find the words.

“Until you guys were ready to come forth? I get it, don’t worry your secret's safe with me.” She winked, "Still, I would love to meet your new boy toy ~" 

Tweek gave a forceful to laugh. He hate lying, well, he didn’t hate it, but this was getting out of control. First Clyde, and Token and now Bebe. Even forcing oneself to form coherent sentences was becoming more difficult by the second. Thankfully Bebe moved on to grill on Token's love life. 

"So Bebe, I was wondering." Clyde began, his nasally voice deeper than usual, "After camp, can I show you around South Park, I know you've lived there your whole life, but think of it as a way to refresh your memory." 

At this, Bebe giggled, "Well I don't know Clyde, if I can keep the coffee machine, I'm all yours until the school starts." 

"Tok-"

"It's all yours Bebe." Token offered, "It's that, or the coffee machine would've faced an ill fate." 

"It's a date then." Bebe smiles, and gave another wink to Tweek. "And who knows, maybe we can go on a double date with Tweek and his secret lover too."

Tweek felt the urge to scream. 

 

* * *

 

Thirteen year old Tricia, the queen of deadpan expressions and pastel outfits, slips on a carton box of apple juice as she open the front door. What greeted her on the other side was the sight of a certain blond haired. One who is on the verge of a breakdown, one who hasn't slept in twenty four hours, and one who drank too much coffee before coming over. She knew the warning signs all too well, however unlike most people, the young teenager didn’t question his presence and only turned her head and announced the ‘spaz one’ was here. 

"Craig's in his room." Tricia said, leaving the door wide enough for Tweek to enter the household. "I'll make you some coffee." 

"Thank you." Tweek whispered, as he shut the door behind him and made his way up the stairs slowly, but surely making his way to Craig's room. 

“Hey.” Craig greeted, who is currently laying down on his bed whiles reading a comic book. He has yet lift his gaze. Although Tweek wasn't bothered by one's lack of attention as he made his way to the center of the room, both hands cling onto the hem of his shirt, bottom lip bitten upon one thought to another thought. 

It was now or never, as he took a deep breath and with part lips; he shrieked. 

“ _Craigweneedtohookup_!”


	3. Jimmy Adulation All

In what took a matter of seconds, felt like an eternity for Tweek. His lips began to quiver, and his neck felt stiff due to the built up tension.

This was a mistake, Tweek noted, as panic began to take place, and a series of alarm bells rang through the mist of it all. He wanted to back away, make a dash for it, escape and never look back. Maybe buy a place ticket to the end of the earth. Would New Zealand be considered the end of the world? Last time he checked, there was no direct flight to New Zealand. _Maybe._

Eventually Craig was the first to break the stalemate, the comic book long forgotten in favor of gazing the startled adolescences before him.

“What?” His nasal voice took heed, slit eyes roam over the shorter male, before settling for his face once more. 

Tweek couldn't breath, his right hand dug deep into the fiber of his loop sided shirt. Shallow twist and pulls were made from end of the shirt, as his head twitched to the left, followed by the right. Craig, however, was unfazed by Tweek's peculiar comportment, as the noirette was not one force an answer from a certain blond haired. After all, with enough time, Tweek shall heed a reply, once clamped fingers now tug the hems of his shirt, and his sight fell on to the taller male, carefully picked words hangs on the tip of his tongue. 

“I - _ngh_ \- said we need to - _gah_ \- hook up!” 

“I got you the first time, but why do we need to hook up?” Craig immediately answered back, however his default calm demeanor betrayed him and in return, his teeth gritted against one another, and his cheeks were flushed by the turn of the events.

What has summer camp done to Tweek, better yet, why was Tweek asking him out?

Was it Clyde? Did he need to knock some sense into Clyde?!

“Just-” Tweek began, unable to make eye contact, “Let me explain, please.”

At this Craig’s posture lax, his face return to their placid state, the following words confirmed his full attention. “I’m listening.”

For the next several minutes Tweek began to recount his time in summer camp, how he met up with Clyde and Token, followed by the twenty question game. Only to wrongfully confess to having a boyfriend when Tweek is currently dating no one. Worst off, Bebe reappearances and reconfirming the fibs once more. 

"And now we're here..." Tweek whispered, once his tale came to an end. However his eyes lingered on Strip's cage, as the guinea pig had made several rounds around the cage. 

“But why me?” The noirette asked, making room on his bed for the other male to take a sit. 

“You’re - _ngh_ \- that first came into mind.” The shorter male admitted, his flushed face has yet to calm down but took a sit on end of the bed nevertheless. “Look I know you’re not - _ngh_ \- _gaybutjustdothis_ -”

“Who said I’m not gay?” Craig cuts him off, raising an eyebrow, and another's cogitation came to a grinding halt. “In fact, I want to ask you, do you desire me more than a friend?" 

Tweek squints his eyes, “What do you mean?”

At this, Craig cup his cheeks with both hands, and with half lid eyes, brought his lips against the startled blond. There was no movement between the two, only the factor of revelation as clapped lips pressed together. Awkward, ill prepared, and downright horrified, it took all of Tweek's willpower to not push Craig aside.

Eventually Craig parted ways, and muttered under his breath. “I'm saying take me out of dinner, instead of playing pretend.”

Tweek punched him across the face. 

"You stole my first kiss! And now _youwantme_ to take to - _gah_ \- dinner!?" 

Craig rubbed his cheeks where the impact was made, dazed by the impact, he resorted to giving Tweek the bird. "I - ugh, fuck. Fine, I'll take you to dinner, only because you can't admit you have a crush on me?" 

"Me? Have a crush on you?! Who's the one who decided - _ngh_ \- to kiss me?!" He vouch for another blow, however the taller male was more aware this time, ducking the attack and tackled the blond haired to push his back against his mattress. " _Gah_! Get off me!" 

"I don't know, I like you beneath me." Craig smirked, his body heat dangerously close to Tweek, his lips now placed against another's ears as the following words came forth. "Beside I'm not the one who lied about having a boyfriend, more so, me as one." 

Tweek's eyes darken, a sense of yearning arose, as he proceed to wrap his legs around the taller male, startling the noirette when he felt his body flush against one another. "Tweek?" 

He was meant with another pair of frenzied finger tips on each side of his hand, before a pair of lips collide against his. Their movement was rigid, again, uncoordinated.

"I don't know Tucker, it looks like my affection is not one sided." Tweek claimed once their lips parted, his tone seeps with confidences, maybe a hint of desire too. "Maybe I should take you to dinner after all." 

Craig was rendered speechless, unable to move nor form coherent sentences. 

Communication was never his strong suit, however in a matter of second it looks like Tweek has managed to not only open a can of worms, but put everything back together. Several moments of silences lingers between the two, and Craig found himself opening, before closing his mouth a few times but was unable to find the proper words. His sole and only option narrowed down a single slur.

"Fuck." 

"Mn?" 

"Fuck it all." 

And for the third time that afternoon, their lips clash again once more to whatever this is. 

 

* * *

 

"Token, hold me!" Clyde exclaimed, eyes widen as daft hands cling onto the dark skinned male. 

Words of Tweek and Craig's suppose relationship came in full circle by the end of the first day of school.

It wasn’t one way to start the new school year, however being in high school - despite the town's obsession all those in favor of drama and gossip - neither their classmates and teachers fawned over their newfound relationship status. At best, other people gave their regards, others slurs followed by a fist by fellow student. Cartman being the most notable one, but what else is new?

"Looks at them! Just look at Tweek and Craig!" Clyde gleefully added, much to Token's dismay who felt several eyes linger on the duo. They were on the school hallways after all. 

"I'm pretty sure we've been aware since camp." Token spoke as a matter of fact, but Clyde was long gone into a world obsession and being a proud mother.

Thankfully it was Bebe’s reappearance who took much of the spotlight, in which both Tweek and Craig are more than willing to hand over the torch. 

“Don’t go breaking my friend’s heart.” Bebe would jest about, and Craig only whip out the middle finger. A gesture everyone ignored, especially those who left the town for two whole years.

 

* * *

 

Jimmy invited the newfound couple to their house the following week.

It's an experiment for school he claims, as the duo entered the comedian’s home, both witnesse their fate being seal when Jimmy drones a lab coat, and lead the pair to his bedroom.

“I u-u-u-usually wouldn’t ask newly couples to come over to m-m-my pla-as. My pla. Come over to my place.” Jimmy began, once he took a sit by his computer, and the pair sat by a nearby couch. “Even if it’s for an e-e-e-experiment.”

If fact, most people rarely comes over to Jimmy’s place, especially Craig and Tweek. Usually the teenage boys would either hang out in Token’s basement, or lounge about in Clyde's bedroom. However Jimmy in particular requested their presences, as he has done with several other couples during the course of the week. Token and Nicole being the choose few. When asked about the experiment Nicole simply giggled, whereas Token looked sideways, cheeks flushed and gave no further details.

“So Fastpass.” Craig jested about, “What’s our objective.”

“And p-p-p-people say my jokes are t-t-t-terrible.” Jimmy informed, but laughed nevertheless before moving on the experiment. “This is f-for my science AP class. The a-a-a-assess. The a-a-a-assessment ask me to conduct an e-e-e-experiment in which involves of human con-con-connection. So I’ve decided to go with in-in-in-intimacy.”

“Intimacy?”

“To put it s-s-s-simply, I need you guys - ah - to make out while I-I-I-I third wheel.”

Tweek backed away almost immediately, followed by his signature grunts. “ _Gah_! Wait! Are you - _ah_! Serious!? That’s way too much pressure.”

“I don't have t-t-t-to be in the same room while you-you-you guys commit the d-d-d-de- ah. Deed.” Jimmy helpfully added, yet fallen deaf ears. “I-I-I-I understand it m-m-m-may be daunt-daunting, but let's just say, you have a cer-cer-cer-certain quality that no one else-”

“Is it because we’re gay couple?” Craig casually allow the words to roll off his tongue. 

Jimmy sighed, but his buoyant expression has yet to falter. “Yes.”

“Also because you want top marks?”

“Yes.”

“And you try to get Annie and Red to make out with one another, but knowing my cousin she slapped you across the face, so you decide that another gay couple - basically us - to make out instead.”

“Yes.”

The room was meant by silences, expect a grunt or two from no other than yours truly, Tweek. 

“Tweek, get your things we’re get-”

“W-W-Wait! Be-Be-Before you go, I do have some- ah. Something for Tweek.” Jimmy managed to stop the pair from leaving, his final thump card up his shelves. 

Tweek paused, blue eyes lingers over his handicapped friend. “What is it?”

Jimmy proudly held up a spray can, “I have an anti - grome spray, since you’ve been having troubl-”

“CRAIG KISS ME!”

Craig reisist the urge to flip Tweek off, and forced the insolent gesture on the brunet instead. Leave it to Jimmy to stew his competitive nature.

"Tweek, this is just a stupid experiment-"

"Craig Tucker did I shutter? I ask you to kiss me." Tweek injected, his voice firm, but crack by the end. Nevertheless it was enough to silent the taller male, and earn their handicap friend a preclude glance. His china set on stand by and ready to be served if things got too chaotic. Nothing like a lovers quarrel to get by the day. 

Craig muttered under his breath that neither Tweek or Jimmy caught, before he turned his attention to elsewhere, "So do you leave the room-"

"Yep, j-j-j-just meet me down sta-sta-stairs when you're do-do-done." As if the handicapped male had rehearsed these lines several times over, before adding "And no funny business on my be-be-bed or couch. Have fun!" With the final rule set in stones, Jimmy walked out of the room, the door quietly shut dispelling all tension within the room, along with Tweek's newfound confidences.

"Wait Craig! I wasn't - _ngh_ \- thinking straight. We don't have to do this. I was - _ugh_ \- just being selfish because - _ngh_ \- I need that spray-" He was rudely cut off by a peak on his lips from Craig. The contact was swift, as if a pair of lips brush among one another, but it was enough to shut Tweek up. 

"You know the spray can is nothing but utter bullshit." Craig states, his tone leaks with an unknown form of sentiment. Almost foreign for the shorter male. "Or did you truly want to make out with me again?" Tweek was meant with a sly smile, it was endearing really. As if it was enough to lure the blond haired closer, as mirth dance between one's hawk like eyes.  

"And you?" Tweek asked, as tentative hands pressed against Craig's upper body.

Craig replied by taking a step forward, followed by another, until Tweek found his back pressed against the wall. The height differences between the two was obvious, but not painfully difficult to lock lips, at best, their share a couple inches between the pair. Enough for Craig to loom over, place an arm over the twitchy blond, and gaze upon the him. A form of heat began to pool in his stomach, as he uttered the following. "I'll be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss you again." 

It was enough for Tweek as he fisted his hands against the noirette's shirt, before he brought Craig's down, bring their lips together once again.

The consolidation was harsh, and Tweek was sure his lips were bound to bruise once they parted. A mixture of espresso and french fries brought a strange, but a unique favour but it didn't stop the couple. As the pair continued to kiss, blunt fingertips found their way around the shorter male's hip, their pelvic met with a sudden thrust, earning a mixture of wanton moans and impetuous grunts. Their lips parted, as jagged breaths and clacked teeth ram against their mouths, much to Tweek's dismay before pushing the other male off. for much need space.

"Couch." Tweek voice out. In which Craig could only nod - his mind clouded by desire - unable to form words as he sat on the couch. Only to be pushed once again, now lying down, watching his lover? boyfriend? fuck buddy? proceed to sit on top of him. Both legs straddle him down, before kissing the noirette feverishly once again. Craig angled his face and lance his fingers around the shorter male's wrist to bring him closer. Their chest flushed together and with parted lips, rough kisses was meant with desperate pleads. Craig's teeth sinking into another's bottom lips and Tweek moaned as Craig pushed his tongue inside his mouth. 

"Fuck." Tweek whined, as a jolt of pleasure pulse through. Slender fingers tangled in one's dark locks, lust driven and far too gone to stop now, eager hips began to move with purpose. They continued to kiss, longer, harder, deeper as Craig hands claimed the blond haired's bottom and continued to rocked their bottom with force. Their harden cock brushed one another, through the many, many fabric that parts the two organs. 

"Not here- ah-" Another groan escape Tweek's lips. "I can't come here." 

A slur only escape the taller male lips, before muttering, "I can't- you're- _ngh_!" 

You're what? The shorter male wanted to ask, but Craig flip their position, with Tweek now on the bottom, and lust driven lips came into contact once again and their lower half began to grind one another once again.

"I'm what?" Tweek asked, head tilted back, his voice gasping for air. Finger tips drag across the noirette's shoulder. "I'm driving you insane? Losing your mind? Something else?" 

"All of above." Craig answered, his mouth latched onto his neck a moment later, and Tweek almost gasped by the sudden contact. He shuddered, goosebumps rides on his skin, as wanton moans unable to suppress itself, escape to the open air. 

They were going to ruin Jimmy's couch, but neither Tweek or Craig couldn't give a flying fuck at the moment, nor remember why they were here in the first place. They continue to move their pelvic, and for a moment Tweek felt his hips reach his limit as his eyes shot open. "Craig- I!"

"I said n-n-n-no funny business!" The bedroom door slammed open, as a horrified brunet entered his room to discovered two horny teenagers tearing the fabric off his couch. 

"And t-t-t-this is why I wanted Red and An-An-Annie."

At least women have respect to who's couch they're making out on.

**Author's Note:**

> If you can't tell by now, I loath writing romance. Yell your request via cupcakescreamcakes@tumblr


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